preaching about forgiveness and honesty
but honestly, you cant even imagine what its like to taste modesty.
a game of chess plays out in your head.
a short game, except this game never ends.
instead, you'd rather just pretend and pretend and pretend.
taking a part a person at their seams, thread by thread by thread.
and still, this game continues for days and days in your head.
'if its good for you, than its good for me too.'
'oh and by the way, i need you to be just the way i see you to be'
'im under dressed, yet at my very best when your around.
i do hear you talking, amidst other sounds, but im not really listening.
instead, im thinking of other ways to get to know you and even better ways to get close to you.'
'basically, im planning my next move on you.'
'oh and p.s., i'm the one who knows what is best for you. i want to guide you through life and show you who to avoid because im the one who knows the difference between who is real and who just wants to hurt you."
your eyes say it all; fear, lust and anger.
when you dont win, its like the whole world has stacked cement cards and blocks of wall against you.
and then the trumpets sound and a bass line kicks in,
violins and harp strings ring out.
maybe even angels cry.
dont you realize?
theres never gonna be a win.
people are not trophies and lovers have to choose each other.
don't you see that im not naive?
i know its not really a friendship when youre aiming for something else.
transparent, i see through you clearer than through my new prescription glasses.
your expectations derive the worst out of some individuals
and when they shut you down, you lose yourself completely.
you re-evaluate every single position and take the one that hides who you are the most.
keeping with this idea and image up in your head of who you'd rather be, rather than just being.
and even more so, you know exactly how you want them to want you, even better,
how you want them to chase you.
so when all has been said, id have to say its come to the end.
no more threads to try to unthread.
who wants to feel pushed or like they have to push you away?
who wants to feel like through all the good talks, tears and laughs
it was never enough, never enough, of me for you.
ive heard it several times before, ' i care about you and just want you to be happy'
but what it really means is, 'i want you to want me and im gonna be the only thing that makes you happy.'
just because you think you know, doesnt mean you know anything.
and when you think you know what somone needs, it only shows you really have no clue.
modesty has taken a back seat to honesty,
all while your ego boasts of always being truthful,
line after line, always a fucking mouthful.
its never been more clear
a good friend's happiness isnt more important than your own.
my joy is for me, and for me alone.
and when someone you aimed so hard to be with finds peace in themselves
and among others that don't include you,
its like the most vibrant true colors finally show their rapture and as quickly as the curtain opened, it also closes standing there while everyone in the audience only cares to move right passed her.
do you always push away the ones you can't capture?
